a nightmare
i din know i will get tis reaction and hell yeah
wat's on my mind is
JUST BREAK UP
hating myself to be so harsh
but
i juz could not help spouting those hurting words to cover the truth tat i'm crying

i somehow feel tired
tat's wat my feelings
but i know
if i say i got no feelings to u
then i will be cheating to myself
how should i put it?

maybe u are right
i really take distance as an obstacles between us
and
it's truth
arrgghh
i dunno
maybe i'm just too selfish?
only thinking tat i might get hurt and tat's why i say those
but i seem to forget tat
u ll get hurt too

the moment when i heard ur crying voice and hang up my phone
i straight away cry out loud
i know
i know i was wrong tis time
i never know tat i can cry for so long
and
my tears actually got sooo much (XD)

like wat i said
i need a concrit concolation and companion
not something abstract tat i cant even touch
就连想都是奢望

but thanx to qian
she keep telling me not to give up tat way
she asked me one question which really stunned me
"ask urself, do u love him"?
my tears answer tis question

"then why dun wan to hold it tight?"
"dun simply say tat, he is a nice guy, appreciate"

why did i actually do tat
he call for almost 20 timees and
i reject it all
i feel bad
very bad
but at tat moment
i really dun wan to talk
i dun wish to expose tat i was actually hesitate over tat decision

i know i made a wrong decision
and i decided to get it right back to the path

coz
i found one tat can really tolerate me
some one tat can really understand me
some one tat really willing to change for me
some one tat really love me and i love him as well

i'm sorry
qian was right
" every couple got their own problem to be sloved, urs is distance, if u passed tis, u two gonna be very good"
i stunned
think it over and over
and accepted it

i saw others , i envy others
coz i cant have it
cant even see you when i wan to see you
but
when their boyfriend did something bad to them
i mean being unreasonable
i forgot tat
i got somebody tat who ll really accept me as who i am

sorry, i meant it.
thank you, i meant it.
i love you, i meant it.

i will be tired, tat's true
but i hope u will be my reason and power to move on
to hang in there
to wait

u said i will always be ur reason
wat i wanna say is
u will always be mine too

我会记住我答应过你
会很努力很努力的把你抓紧
记得你也一定要抓紧我

thanx to dear, honey, bao bei
:)
and of coz my beloved boyfriend, buddy and boss
thanx for always be there when i need
and amanda baby too
plus nazran

qian, amanda, naz actually skipped class because of me
they went to sentral fetch me
and then stories time :)
thanx for the companion
i'm ok
heeee...

coz i know i got u all :)

i seriously heart a phone, so much
Black colour N82,
u are always e one
:D